season

Chapter 7

The car left the private garage during the dead hour of the afternoon, when the city turned orange before becoming blue.

Vittorio drove. Katarina sat beside him with a small bag in her lap and her knees held together, as though she required less space than usual.

Everything she had managed to retrieve from Chase’s apartment fit inside the bag: 1 dress, 2 books, her father’s box of pencils, and a photograph in a silver frame.

The remainder of her life had been left behind.

She did not miss it.

There was a strange lightness inside her chest, the kind that frightened her because she did not yet know whether it could be trusted.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Not far.”

“You are not going to tell me.”

“I will tell you when we arrive.”

They crossed bridges and blocks Katarina recognized but had never stopped to visit. Late-afternoon light entered at an angle through the window and warmed the side of her face.

She looked outside without truly seeing anything, allowing the city to pass like a film she had already watched.

The car stopped in front of a building with a private entrance, a clean facade, and no sign.

Donato, who had been Vittorio’s driver longer than Katarina’s memories of the office extended, left the car first.

Vittorio walked around to her door, opened it, and extended his hand.

Katarina accepted it.

His palm was warm, broad, and firm without tightening around hers.

They entered a service elevator that smelled of wood and a neutral cleaning product.

Before the doors opened on the designated floor, Vittorio handed Katarina a key.

It was simple, with no key chain or decoration.

“This is yours,” he said. “Only yours. I do not have a copy.”

“You own the building.”

“I do.”

“And you do not have a copy?”

“Even so, I do not have one.”

The apartment door opened into a living room with a high ceiling and a floor-to-ceiling window overlooking the city.

The floors were pale wood and the walls were white. A thick rug softened the sound of footsteps. An open kitchen contained a counter made of dark stone. There were 2 bedrooms and a desk positioned beneath the window.

Beside the desk stood a new easel.

It had no box or label. It was simply waiting.

Katarina moved slowly through every room, like a woman who needed to confirm that the floor would not disappear beneath her.

She touched the frame of the main bedroom door and opened the closet.

Clothing hung inside.

There was not much. Every piece had been selected carefully and was the correct size. The colors were the ones Katarina might have chosen had anyone asked her.

There were no turtlenecks and no sleeves long enough to conceal her hands.

Katarina leaned against the kitchen counter and breathed.

For the 1st time in longer than she could remember, the air traveled to the bottom of her chest without causing pain.

Vittorio stood in the living-room entrance with his hands in his pockets, waiting with the patience of a man who had no need to fill silence.

“Who bought the clothes?” Katarina asked.

“A woman who works for me. I instructed her to choose neutral colors and no turtlenecks. If anything does not fit, she will exchange it.”

The turtlenecks were a small detail that communicated everything he did not need to say.

He had seen the marks. He had understood them. They had not gone unnoticed on any day.

Something shifted behind Katarina’s sternum, a knot so accustomed to its position that she had forgotten it was there.

“Vittorio.”

“Yes?”

“Why this apartment?”

He entered the room and stopped 2 steps away.

There was no haste in his movements, only intention.

“Because you need a place where, when someone knocks, you decide whether to open the door. That includes me.”

The sentence remained in the air with a weight that did not cause pain.

Katarina looked at the floor for a moment, searching for the proper answer to a statement that demanded none.

When she raised her eyes, Vittorio was still waiting for her to absorb the words at whatever speed she required.

“Including you?”

“Including me.”

He held her gaze.

“I did not remove you from 1 house to imprison you in another. You will never again be locked inside any place. Agreed?”

“Agreed.”

Vittorio nodded and moved backward by half a step.

Inside that small movement was a form of respect Katarina had not known could exist between a man and a woman. It required no announcement because it was simply present, as tangible as the key in her hand.

The elevator chimed late in the afternoon.

Joanna stood outside holding a cardboard box nearly as large as she was and a transparent bag filled with food.

She entered with the expression of someone attempting to absorb everything at once: the enormous window, the easel, the white walls, and Katarina standing in the middle with a small bag and eyes Joanna recognized too well.

“I brought prepared pasta, bread, 3 kinds of cheese, and a bottle of red wine that the sommelier at the market swore goes well with a free woman.”

She pushed the box toward Katarina and looked around.

“Cat. Cat, look at that window. I am going to cry.”

“Do not cry.”

“I am going to cry, and you cannot stop me.”

Joanna embraced her with her arms full, pressing the packages against Katarina’s still-painful ribs.

Katarina made the expression of someone who felt nothing.

Joanna noticed and loosened the embrace without comment.

That was Joanna. She always knew where she could apply pressure and where she could not.

“Where is the man?” she asked.

“What man?”

“The man, Cat. The man who brought you to an apartment with a floor-to-ceiling window and placed a new easel beside the wall.”

Vittorio appeared in the hallway leading from the bedrooms. His jacket was folded over 1 arm, and his shirtsleeves were rolled above his wrists.

“Here.”

Joanna blinked once.

“Hello, Mr. Servino.”

“Miss Quinn.”

Joanna raised the bottle. “I brought wine. Would you like a glass?”

“No, thank you. I am leaving.”

Vittorio turned toward Katarina. When he spoke, the words were intended only for her.

“I will return later. You do not have to open the door if you do not want to.”

He left.

The elevator closed with a light, clean sound.

Joanna waited precisely 3 seconds before turning toward Katarina with the most exaggerated expression her face could produce.

“Cat.”

“Do not say anything.”

“Cat. Cat. Cat.”

“Joanna.”

“The man controls half the city, and he told you that you do not have to open the door if you do not want to. Do you understand what that is?”

“I understand.”

“I do not think you understand completely.”

“I understand. Joanna, sit down and drink some wine.”

They sat at the kitchen counter because the apartment did not yet contain a dining table.

Joanna poured the wine into 2 water glasses because there were no wineglasses. They ate cold pasta directly from the container because the proper drawer did not yet contain silverware.

The stone counter was cold beneath their elbows. The overhead light was direct and honest.

Outside the enormous window, the city darkened slowly.

The 2 women talked about nothing significant: the heel Joanna had broken on Monday, the doorman’s cat that had escaped for the 3rd time that month, and the coffee from the machine on the 3rd floor, which tasted worse than usual.

At some point, Katarina laughed.

Joanna had made a remark about Donato’s sack-like suits, which never changed in style or color.

Katarina laughed with her entire mouth, including the corner of her lip that still hurt.

She laughed as though it cost nothing, as though laughter were a simple act available to anyone at any time.

She could not remember how long it had been since that was true.

Joanna left shortly before 9:00, promising to return the following day with silverware, dish soap, and a plant.

She kissed Katarina’s cheek with a mother’s care and stopped at the door with her hand resting on the frame.

“Cat, I always knew.”

“I know.”

“I did not say anything because you did not ask, but I always knew.”

“I know, Joanna.”

Joanna nodded slowly and left.

Katarina closed the door.

She rested her forehead against the wood and remained there for a moment, listening as the apartment’s silence settled around her like something that belonged to the place.

The key remained in her hand.

She turned it in the lock, not to shut out the world but to confirm that she could—that the decision belonged to her.

The balcony held 2 low chairs and nothing else.

Katarina sat in 1, drew her knees against herself, and observed the city below. It was punctuated by lights that appeared warmer at night than during the day.

For the 1st time, the city did not seem like a place in which she needed to hide.

It was simply a place—indifferent and immense.

For that reason, it felt safe. Sometimes the indifference of a large city was the only freedom available.

The elevator chimed shortly before 11:00.

Katarina knew it was Vittorio before hearing his footsteps. There was a rhythm to his walk that she had memorized without realizing it.

She rose and opened the door.

Vittorio entered without speaking. He left his jacket across the back of the armchair, opened the collar button of his shirt, and walked onto the balcony.

He stopped beside Katarina and leaned against the railing.

The air was cool and carried the faint smell of rain that had not yet fallen.

They remained there without speaking.

The city glowed beneath them in a rhythm independent of either of them. There was something particular in the knowledge that the world continued in complete indifference.

That night, it felt like a gift.

“Vittorio.”

He made a quiet sound in acknowledgment.

“Why did you do all of this?”

He turned only his face.

Light from the city rose across his features, making them appear sharper and more difficult to interpret.

“Because I saw you from the 1st day.”

His voice was low and without ornament.

“And because protecting someone was never the same as possessing them. It took me a lifetime to understand the difference.”

He paused.

“I will not repeat my father’s mistake.”

Katarina did not ask about his father.

She sensed that the statement had been opened to her like a door that required real effort to move. There was no room to pass through it that night. There was only room to allow the opening to exist.

Katarina extended her hand.

Vittorio accepted it.

His fingers were warm. Hers were cold from the balcony.

He warmed them without comment or ceremony, as though it were obvious that one should warm another person’s hands when they were cold.

“Stay,” Katarina said.

Vittorio looked at her for the additional moment she had already learned to recognize as the place where he stored the things he did not say.

He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers individually, slowly, without hurrying any part of the gesture, as though there were enough time for everything.

Then he pressed his mouth to hers.

It was only 1 kiss, without hunger or urgency.

It was an entire answer compressed into something simple.

The living-room light went dark.

The bedroom door closed.

Morning entered through the curtainless window gently and without a scheduled hour.

Katarina woke to light against her eyelid and to a silence that was not the absence of sound.

It was the absence of fear.

There was a difference.

It had taken her years to understand it, but that morning it seemed like the most obvious thing in the world.

Vittorio lay on his side, supported by 1 elbow, watching her with the calm attention of a man confirming that something rare remained where he had left it.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Good morning.”

He extended 1 finger and moved a strand of hair away from her temple with a precision that seemed inconsistent with the size of his hands.

His finger remained there for 1 second.

Then he rose, put on his shirt, and walked into the kitchen.

Coffee again.

In the new apartment, on that new morning, coffee had already become a language.

Katarina sat at the counter wearing Vittorio’s robe over her shoulders. It reached her knees.

He placed a cup before her containing 2 small spoonfuls of sugar and no milk.

He said nothing about it.

He had noticed her preference on some ordinary morning at the office. He had stored the information in the same way he stored anything useful, without display.

“You noticed,” she said.

“I notice everything.”

“That is frightening.”

“I know.”

1 side of his mouth lifted by approximately 1 millimeter.

Katarina smiled without intending to and did not attempt to remove the expression.

They ate bread and butter in a comfortable silence that requested no filling.

Vittorio read a message on his telephone, answered with 2 words, and placed the device inside his pocket with the finality of a man closing a door.

He leaned against the counter opposite Katarina.

“I am going to work. I will return tonight.”

Katarina looked at him.

“I want you to.”

“Agreed.”

Vittorio kissed her temple before leaving.

He did not kiss her mouth.

He kissed the precise place where he had moved her hair earlier.

Then he left.

The elevator doors closed with the same light sound they had made the night before.

The apartment became Katarina’s again.

She rose and approached the living-room window. She pressed her palm against the cold glass.

The city below continued as it always had, indifferent and noisy on its own scale, completely unaware of what had changed behind that window.

For a moment, Katarina thought that happiness had always been the thing she was least able to recognize.

The thought passed quickly, like wind moving through an open window.

It did not hurt.

It announced itself and disappeared.

May you like

Katarina returned to the kitchen.

She drank the coffee before it became cold.

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