Chapter 8 - Tommy Disappeared Again—And This Time Clary Refused to Save HimSix months later, Tommy relapsed.
Not gambling.
Drinking.
Clary found him unconscious outside the music center.
Her old instinct returned instantly.
Fix it.
Hide it.
Pay for it.
Protect him.
She called an ambulance.
Then she called Declan.
He arrived twenty minutes later.
Tommy was conscious by then.
Ashamed.
Angry.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he told Clary.
“Like what?”
“Like Mom.”
The words hurt.
Clary folded her arms.
“You need treatment.”
“I did treatment.”
“You need more.”
“I need everyone to stop controlling me.”
Declan remained near the doorway.
Tommy looked at him.
“And him.”
Declan said nothing.
“You think because you paid off my debt you own me?”
“No.”
“Then stop acting like it.”
“I haven’t spoken.”
“Exactly. That judgmental silent thing.”
Declan looked at Clary.
“Should I leave?”
Tommy laughed.
“Of course he asks you.”
Clary felt anger rise.
Then something unexpected happened.
She became tired.
Not physically.
Deeply.
Tired of being responsible for Tommy’s choices.
“Declan.”
“Yes?”
“Go home.”
Tommy looked victorious.
Clary continued.
“I’ll meet you there.”
Declan understood.
He kissed her forehead and left.
Tommy smiled.
“Finally.”
Clary looked at her brother.
“You’re going to rehab.”
His smile disappeared.
“No.”
“Then you’re going somewhere else.”
“What?”
“You can’t stay with me.”
Tommy stared.
Clary’s chest hurt.
“I love you.”
“Clary—”
“I love you more than almost anyone in this world.”
“Then don’t do this.”
“That sentence has controlled me for eight years.”
Tommy went silent.
“I gave up school because Mom needed me. I would do that again.”
Her voice shook.
“But then I gave up everything else because you kept needing me.”
“I didn’t ask—”
“Yes, you did.”
Tommy looked away.
“Every debt. Every promise. Every phone call at two in the morning.”
Clary wiped her eyes.
“I kept saving you because I thought love meant preventing you from hitting the ground.”
She stepped closer.
“But maybe you need to feel the ground.”
Tommy’s eyes filled.
“You’re abandoning me.”
“No.”
She kissed his forehead.
“I’m refusing to abandon myself.”
Then Clary walked away.
She cried inside her car for twenty minutes.
Declan sat silently in the passenger seat.
He had returned because he knew she would need him.
He did not tell her what to do.
He did not offer solutions.
Eventually, Clary leaned against him.
“Was I cruel?”
“No.”
“Was I wrong?”
“I don’t know.”
She looked up.
“You don’t?”
“No.”
Declan brushed hair from her face.
“But I think loving someone and rescuing them are different things.”
Clary closed her eyes.
“That sounds suspiciously healthy.”
“I’ve been reading.”
She laughed weakly.
“Therapy?”
“Books.”
“Coward.”
“Probably.”
A month later, Declan began therapy.
He never admitted Clary was responsible.
Clary never pretended otherwise.
Tommy entered rehabilitation voluntarily eleven days after Clary walked away.
This time he stayed.
Declan proposed to Clary that winter.
It was disastrous.
He rented an entire restaurant.
Clary walked in, saw three hundred candles and a string quartet, and immediately said:
“No.”
Declan had not even asked.
The violinists stopped.
“What?”
“No.”
“I haven’t—”
“You’re about to.”
Clary pointed at the flowers.
“Those are roses.”
“Yes.”
“There are approximately ten thousand.”
“Four thousand.”
“That is worse.”
Declan stared.
Clary walked toward him.
“I love you.”
“That sounds promising.”
“I am not accepting a proposal that looks like a corporate merger.”
Declan glanced around.
He had spent three weeks planning.
“What exactly is wrong?”
“Everything.”
“Helpful.”
She took his hand.
“Ask me when it’s real.”
“This is real.”
“No.”
She touched his chest.
“This is Declan Knox trying to manufacture perfection.”
He understood.
Clary kissed him.
“Try again.”
Then she left him standing among four thousand roses.
Arthur emerged from behind the bar.
“I told you.”
Declan glared.
“You said women like flowers.”
“Women do.”
Arthur gestured around.
“This is a botanical hostage situation.”
Declan sat down.
“What do I do?”
Arthur smiled.
May you like
“Become ordinary.”
Declan looked horrified.
